DUKE CANNON, KING OF SKIPPING STONES

Summertime brings many pleasures—including (but not limited to) grilling, fishing, and ensuring your lawn is defined by rigidly precise mow lines. But few things compare to the simple joy of skipping stones. The body of water does not particularly matter. What does matter is finding the perfect stone, and making it skip across the surface so many times that anyone who sees it considers you a deity. But this sport (not a pastime) is not as simple as it appears. Here are some pointers we are willing to impart to you, the layman, in the hopes that you can one day enjoy the rare air of double-digit skips.

SIZE MATTERS
Your instinct will be to grab a small flat stone that sits neatly between your forefinger and thumb. THIS IS WRONG. You are not selecting a guitar pick here. You want a somewhat larger, flat stone for optimal surface travel. Ideally, it should nestle comfortably into the base of your palm, so think 3”-5” in diameter—although this depends somewhat on the size of your hand, as you would probably not require the same size stone as, say, André the Giant would have.

IT’S ALL IN THE ELBOW. AND THE WRIST.
Successful stone skipping is propelled by a throwing motion known as the sidearm (see: Patrick Mahomes in the NFL, or various MLB “submarine pitchers”). This more horizontal release, as opposed to a standard overhand throw, is key to getting the stone to bounce off the water’s surface. You are certainly welcome to try other throwing styles, but we feel it is only fair to warn you that the inflexible laws of physics—kinetic energy, torque, angular momentum, etc.— are not on your side.

LEAN INTO IT
Every quarterback has been told since day one not to throw off their back foot. Same goes for baseball pitchers. But when it comes to skipping stones, this is precisely the kind of stance that leads to success. In short: forget what your high school coaches told you.

ARE YOU SKIPPING, OR SKIMMING?
Both. “Skipping” is counting the numbers of bounces off the surface. “Skimming” is how you describe the actual distance traveled. Rest assured that the use of these admittedly confusing and seemingly interchangeable terms is how we veterans identify greenhorns.

REPETITION
How bad do you want it? Natural ability notwithstanding, skipping stones is a classic case of practice making perfect. Which is fine, because in our view there are few better ways to spend one’s time. We suppose whistling might give it run for its money, but then again, you could always combine these two wholesome pursuits into one unbeatable activity. Get yourself to a body of water and log some reps, Daniel-san.

WAIT—IS A STONE DIFFERENT THAN A ROCK?
Yes. A stone is much smaller than a rock. It’s moveable, in other words. Rocks are larger, heavier, and trend towards being immobile. Do not even get us started on boulders.