DUKE CANNON LOOKS AT METHODS OF SNOW REMOVAL

A large number of regions around the country have recently been walloped by significant snow events, and with that comes the thrill of figuring out how to clear all that frozen condensation from your property. This is not what is typically considered “light work,” so it is worth considering what method favors your situation the best. To that end, we have compiled some of the more popular sidewalk-and-driveway-clearing modes that spring to mind when the snow begins flying in earnest.

GRABBING A TRUSTY SHOVEL
It is hard to go wrong with this classic method. The snow shovel (metal blade, not plastic) is a simple, elegant tool that the human body takes to like a bird does to flight. The action itself provides a good workout. But be advised that shoveling heavy snow can be dangerous for fellows of a certain age (just type “heart attack snow” into your preferred search engine. Or maybe don’t). We recommend shoveling in stages during more sustained snowfalls to lighten the load.

FIRING UP A BLOWTORCH / PROPANE-FUELED DEVICE
We understand the animating thought here: snow is cold, fire is hot, fire wins. And we also get that this approach could be seen as providing decent fodder for a semi-drunken boast, or that it might gain you some fleeting measure of fame on the social media channels. But to us, this is like bringing a howitzer to a knife fight (not to mention a good way to accidentally set your overalls on fire). But if you must, check your local codes first.

USING A PUSH BROOM
What are you doing? Get inside before someone sees you.

HARNESSING A SNOWBLOWER
A snowblower is not a small investment, and as a proudly frugal sort, we fully understand debating this purchase. All we can say is that being able to shrug in response to an upcoming severe winter storm forecast is a feeling you can’t put a price on. Ariens, TORO, Troy-Bilt, Craftsman, Cub Cadet, and Honda are just some of the venerable names out there with an array of two-or-three-stage workhorses ready to bring blessed relief to your lower back.

NOTE: a leaf blower is a not a snowblower.

PAYING SOMEONE ELSE TO REMOVE THE SNOW
If you have the means, there is no shame in this approach. A guy shows up with a plow attached to his truck and all the offending material is magically whisked away—no muss, no fuss. The only downside is that this method is somewhat noisy, and it's practitioners tend to ply their craft early enough in the morning to make a rooster wince.

SENDING YOUR KIDS OUT TO DO IT
When you hold that newborn in your arms the first time, you will see pleasant visions of their hoped-for future. Learning to ride a bicycle. Graduation. Marriage. You know, all the usual milestones. But very near the top of this list of paternal hopes and dreams is seeing your able-bodied offspring shoveling outside while you watch from the comfort of your house. Cheers, dads.