DUKE CANNON LOVES PIE
Duke Cannon is known far and wide as a man of considerable appetites; able to consume impressive portions of food once the feed bag is strapped on. But regardless of how full we get, or how loudly we proclaim that we couldn’t possibly eat another bite, there is one item that we always have room for: Pie. Whether enjoyed alone in a diner, or served in a group setting, pie always delivers. Here are the types of pies that we would grab right off a windowsill like a starving hobo if we saw one cooling there.
CHERRY PIE
A durable mainstay, reliable as the sunrise, a sure-fire crowd-pleaser—take your pick. The fact is, we go through cherry pies like our founding fathers did cherry trees. We prefer it heated (your mileage may vary there), and favor Bing cherries as the filler. And to those who would dispute the inclusion of this pie on the list, ask yourself: did an 80’s metal band ever bother to record a fist-pumping anthem about Peach, Key Lime, or Lemon Meringue pies? No? OK then.
PECAN PIE
There is no middle ground on this one; people either love pecan pie or flee from it as if it were a grizzly bear. To be clear, we run towards a pecan pie as if we are the grizzly bear. But we must admit that back in the myopic haze of childhood, we did look upon this pie with great suspicion. But we grew up, our palate became more refined, and once we took the plunge during the Thanksgiving of ’03, we have never looked back.
BANANA CREAM PIE
It has bananas. It has a custard-like filling. And it has true staying power in the pie world. In fact, in the 1950’s, US soldiers ranked the banana cream pie as one of their favorites. Well boys, in 2024 Duke Cannon does the same. Taste aside, it also possesses enduring comedic qualities, as it is without question the preferred pie to smack someone in the face with (preferably paired with a seltzer bottle and with a clown as the recipient).
APPLE PIE
Complete this sentence: “As American as _____ ___.” There’s a reason for that. The king of fruit-based pies, apple sends all other contenders to the canvas with little cartoon birds spinning around them. It’s like “Free Bird,” a venerable classic that everyone craves. A slice of cheese on top is terrific, although we prefer to heat it up, plop a scoop of ice cream next to it (real vanilla bean, not that yellow stuff in a plastic tub mom bought), and get down to business.
TURKEY POT PIE
Yes, this counts as a pie. It says so right on the box, doesn’t it? Right there, in bold type. Its pie shaped, and has different ingredients—potatoes, carrots, gravy, turkey—tucked under a flaky crust. It’s even prepared and served in a round, silvery tin—because IT’S A PIE. And best yet, this round pie is also a square meal. Can’t beat that.
